Writing

"On Femicide"...

2024

Femicide /ˈfeməˌsīd/: The killing of a woman or girl, in particular by a man on account of her gender. (Oxford Dictionary) 

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Diana E. H. Russell, the author of Femicide: The Politics of Woman Killing, defined femicide as “the extreme of a continuum of antifemale terror that includes a wide variety of verbal and physical abuse, such as rape, torture, sexual slavery, incestuous and extrafamilial child sexual abuse, physical and emotional battery, sexual harassment, genital mutilation, unnecessary gynecological operations, forced heterosexuality, forced sterilization, forced motherhood, psychosurgery, denial of food to women in some cultures, cosmetic surgery, and other mutilations in the name of beautification.” 

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It is a phenomenon that continues to gain new legs at an alarming rate in the last few decades. While cases have existed before the following occurrences, there is an undeniable male reaction towards the MeToo movement and fourth-wave feminism (2010s) that has contributed to the growing cases of femicide and other negative social behaviors perpetuated by men that deserve further attention. Thankfully, I seek to add my perspective to this discussion.

There has always been a negative male reaction to women seeking equal rights and bodily autonomy. In a movement with clear aims for (certain) women and an undefined position on where men fit into all of this, it has always been an awkward relationship. But while awkward at its minimum, its maximum is outright violence against women. And as “inequality” becomes less blatant between the sexes — say first wave’s aims for (white) women’s right to vote or the second wave’s call for equal pay in comparison to the fourth wave’s broader and complex goal for the end to the “objectification” of women and sexual violence,  nonmaterial “wins” that legislation can’t necessarily “fix” but can be achieved through corrective social conditioning — comes an increasingly brutal reaction. 

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According to the UNODC, more women and girls (89,000) were killed in 2022 than ever before as overall homicide numbers fell. This number could have risen for several reasons: killings of women are being reported as femicide rather than simply homicide or domestic violence incidents, reporting practices have improved over the years, and women's increased trust in public institutions now than in the past, for instance. I think another contributor to this rise is fed-up men who do not know how to operate in a world that holds them accountable for their actions and is less likely to allow them to have privileges over women as they once did. The result is male docility, weaponized incompetence, and aggressiveness — the latter of which allows violence and terror to thrive.  

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I define male docility as men who do not exhibit traditional “male” traits, such as courage, assertiveness, and ambition. The positives include more understanding, emotional, and affable men. But there are real-world consequences that change how men and women interact once this is present, for better and for worse. As the playing field becomes more leveled due to the wins of the earlier feminist movement, men are less likely to perform well in school, join the workforce, and be the household breadwinner. As a direct reaction to MeToo, courting culture has completely changed and made men less likely to interact with and develop relationships with women in fear of potential embarrassment and ostracization. These developments are detrimental as the male ego feels a loss of power, unfairness, threat to self-identity, and insecurity, thus creating a vacuum for hatred towards women. I mean we have all witnessed the men outside liquor stores ranting about how “females need to respect us” or some other nonsense. I’d say incels are a negative result of male docility; men who can not attract women because they are unambitious, unattractive losers who resent women for not choosing them. They permeate the online sphere in response to fourth-wave feminism usage of the internet to promote gender equality and empower women. But this could manifest in real life violently.

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Then there is male-weaponized incompetence in heteronormative relationships and the 50/50 conversation that we are all tired of at this point. The male podcast epidemic of the 2020s has ushered in a new wave of men who want women to contribute 50/50 to the relationship – mainly the splitting of expenses. Men were traditionally the breadwinners and responsible for their family's financial security. But as (white) women started working and the job market opened up to all women who later became breadwinners in their own right, some men believed they should contribute financially and court them. I always think that male chivalry is a consequence of women's subjugation, and this extreme attitude flip (including men who can’t wait to punch women in the face out of “fairness”) further confirms my opinion. Regardless, these men always seem to leave out the work that does not bring money but tends to the household. When women speak up on the fact that they cook and clean after work and contribute a lot to the heteronormative relationship, these men weaponize their incompetence to do household chores, cooking, or shopping so women have no choice but to tend. They attempt to maintain some semblance of “place hood” or terrior. Men belong at work and women belong in the kitchen. Weaponized incompetence not only signals a lack of respect but is a form of abuse that every household has normalized.

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Finally, there is male aggression, which includes verbal arguments, property damage, physical assault, domestic violence, rape, and murder. In this case, male aggression towards women is a response to men needing to assert power over them. The patriarchy suggests and reinforces that men are superior to women. But when society exhibits the opposite, and that “superiority” has nothing to do with gender but an individual’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and interpersonal abilities, the only other avenue some men turn towards is asserting physical strength and violence over women, which activism alone can not fix. UN Women writes “Despite decades of activism from women’s rights organizations as well as growing awareness and action from Member States, the available evidence shows that progress in stopping such violence has been deeply inadequate.” 

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One of the most recent heartbreaking international stories of femicide that inspired me to write about this phenomenon and further dissect men’s response to feminism as of recent was the murder of Rebecca Cheptegei, 33, may she rest in peace. Cheptegei was a Ugandan Olympic marathon runner who was attacked by her ex-boyfriend, Dickson Ndiema, in her home in Kenya, setting her and himself ablaze in September 2024. Cheptegei follows Agnes Tirop, 25, and Damaris Mutua, 28, as the third female athlete killed in Kenya over the last three years. The country has a reputation for men seeking to take advantage of female athletes whose successes in track and field might bring a payday. This case involved previous harassment that was not taken seriously, with some citing Cheptegei’s achievements inciting Ndiema’s actions.

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And while not a murder case, I flip to the situation happening in France of the rape victim Gisele Pelicot and her story of abuse, survival, and courage. Her husband, Dominique Pelicot, drugged Mrs. Pelicot, raped her, and recruited dozens of men to rape her for nearly a decade. After doing such damage, he admits he is a rapist (only because she sued him) and turns to his family “for forgiveness”. With such audacity. 

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It has been increasingly difficult to digest the constant news stories of men following women into their apartments to hurt them (which I have personally experienced but thankfully got away from). It is hard to hear the stories on TikTok of men punching women or pushing them onto train tracks on their way home. It is troublesome to see the many occurrences of men disfiguring women with razor blades or acid as they mind their business. The imminent result of women being traumatized for life or left for dead because of the male ego is such a sad tale. Perhaps it's the constant stream of information that we knowingly and unknowingly consume that exacerbates this problem or my transition from a girl to a young woman, but it's become a bit too much to bear at times – a constant weight on all of our “female” shoulders.

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Though feminism has made many strides towards the equality of women, the only real solution I see for this matter is men creating spaces for other men to get rid of their patriarchal egos in favor of understanding their position in society through celebration rather than the belittlement of women. Perhaps this empowerment approach will lend itself to male achievement rather than violence against women, which is not helpful nor productive for either party. Perhaps we can give the male podcast era another go-around with this in mind. 

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And while not all men, as I made quite a few absolutes in this blog post and know many men who are not violent abusers and have already reached great achievements in their lives — the increasingly violent response to women’s equality is frightening. To the men in particular who contribute are violent towards women in any way, we do not seek to replace you. Social movements, at their core, seek equality and opportunity for everyone. While there are so many nuances and improvements needed to fight for gender equality (intersectionality being an answer that can address both women of color and men — I’ll have a separate critique of the feminist movement in the near future), a violent response is never the answer or solution. It just adds fuel to the neverending problem. 

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​But enough of my perspective. What are yours?